SIGH*... I have NO idea how to begin, what I want to say or even convey. I'll just start with how I feel how about that? Let's seeee, I have a headache, and I'm dog tired. There's tons of family in town tonight and a bunch coming in tomorrow night. I've been working stopping only for food, potty and class breaks/mental breakdowns the past week. I've gotten bad news from the doctor, then even worse news, got a shot, got forgotten about, started mother natures trap for females, studied my butt off for nothing and blew up on my wonderful boyfriend who doesnt deserve it many times. To top it off, my brother in law isn't coming back from the marines for another three more months extended and I won't even begin to mention friends right now.
BTW- Don't even begin to think that's half.
So, I've been a biiiiiiit busy. [To say the least]
But, It's 12:32am on a friday night and I'm glued to my keyboard. Sure, I could and probably should stop and turn the light off, but part of me doesn't want to. Part of me knows or at least thinks that writing the things I won't say on a blog no one will probably even even find interesting enough to read this far will see, would be beneficial. Let's see if I'm right.
SIGH*..........again.What's weird is the thought that I keep entertaining tonight is, What if I had one week left here? How would I spend it? Would I visit everyone I've ever loved? Would I take every risk I'd been to scared of before? Spend tons of money? Travel? Cry? Laugh? && How must it feel knowing your seconds away? I know these are morbid thoughts, and most people view them as bad to think about. My mom would kill me partly because she can't stand to even hear me say the word "kidnap". She loves me alot, but it scares her. I understand but think about it on a spiritual level. Ok so I know not everyone is Christian, but think for a moment, Whatever force you do believe in, whatever you believe is just about to be vailidated? Think about every time you got hot tempered too fast? Every stupid decision you've regreted? Or every kiss you couldn't take back? Now think to now. We have a chance to fix everything we will want to change at the end. We can sculpt it into ANYTHING. Who says we must be that nerd? or that boring office clerk? or the firefighter? CREATE! IMAGINE! Fall in love. Be wreckless. mizspell. Dance crazy. Sing off key. Buy YOURSELF flowers. Do someone else's laundry. Make your bed differently. Be completely and totally unhealthy for one day. Do what will make you happy. Only you. You have 100 years. Not 100 left. Don't waste it. Get outside and breathe. Travel. Kiss your family everyday. Find something to believe in. Create your own bucket list.
geez im tired, and thats a long speech..............so...................
goodngiht:)
